From the very first bout of morning sickness with my first child I decided (with the whole-hearted support of Ewan) that I didn't want to work full time again, but I knew that I would work. Because long before any children we had decided how we wanted to bring up our children and what kind of opportunities we felt were important to provide/offer them.
So for the past 8 years I gone through various stages of maternity leave/full time mum/part time employment.
For the past 3 years I have worked 3 full days. During these days Miss A had school and after school care and the boys were at childcare. This worked for us and was the most financially viable option for us.
Now with the boys at school I decided that I really wanted to be able to provide them with opportunities that they were missing out on. So now (with the ok from my employer) I will be able to do drop off AND pick up after school. So I'll now stretch my hours over 4 days, during school hours.
This means they can now do piano / swimming / netball / basketball / dance / football / church activities, anything they want (within reason) after school. And I now have extra time to assist with homework, without the mad rush of preparing dinner and focusing solely on bedtime (aka me time / quiet time / I just want to unwind time).
So lately as I've mentioned to various people that I'll be working different hours the general response has been "Aww, how fantastic that you can now pick your kids up" or "Aww, that will make such a difference". And I've taken these comments as "Aww, 'bout time you put your kids first!"
So maybe they didn't really mean it that way, and maybe I was feeling a little guilty about working, and maybe I was feeling like they were missing out on opportunities. Or feeling guilty that the boys were in childcare for 10 hours a day and being raised by others. Or feeling bad that I felt totally frazzled after a full days work.
Life, it's just a juggling act. At times we add a few more things to our already exhausted list and that works for a bit. And at other times we just want to reduce the pace of our lives and we try to simplify by removing a few balls. And sometimes we just drop the balls all together but eventually pick them up again and keep moving.
Ok, so I'm rambling a bit. I think what I'm trying to say is that we really need to be more accepting of others choices. We are all just trying to make the best choices for our families and whether that be you've chosen to be a full time mum, work from home, part time employee, full time employment, take some classes, go back to study - that's ok because only you know your circumstances and only you know when things need to change.
So tomorrow is the first day of our new regime. I"ve planned it out in my head how I want the extra time with the kids to go. I'm making no promises that I won't throw them at Ewan the moment he walks in the door because I've just had enough. But as a general rule this work/life balance should work well for us.
So tomorrow is the first day of our new regime. I"ve planned it out in my head how I want the extra time with the kids to go. I'm making no promises that I won't throw them at Ewan the moment he walks in the door because I've just had enough. But as a general rule this work/life balance should work well for us.
6 comments:
I know exactly what you are trying to say - and nobody can really judge others unless they have lived in their circumstances. I think one of the biggest things is finding that balance that brings harmony to the family and sanity to the soul. I hope you enjoy your week.
When I think of someone who has balance and a great family your face always comes to my mind ... Your a great example and a wonderful mom ........... Have fun this week :)
bring it on.
So what awesome child parent activity did you do today?
I had an argument with Gus for an hour about his dinner. I won, sort of, he fell asleep on the dining room chair. and I only smacked his leg three times. "EAT..YOUR..DINNER" (BEFORE he fell asleep)
I hope you find the new routine as good as you hope for. It's not easy to juggle a mothers responsibilities in this crazy world. I too have had to go back to work, lucky for me I found night work for when kai could be at home with the kids. My heart goes out to those mothers who need to work to provide for their families and have to use childcare. It must be hard to have someone else watch your children for you on a regular basis just to provide them with food, clothing, shelter and the other necessties for a happy childhood. Kudos to you Kristie for arranging your work schedule so you can be there for your children when they come home from school! Enjoy this special time with them after a hard day at work.
This is so true Kristie. It almost made me choke up because of the heavy burden that we all share as women. I've got Ruby whining in my ear and Lillie crying and I just want to have a straight thought. I have lots on my plate none of which takes me out of the home yet, but in the coming year, I'll most likely start taking classes and definitely have my Real Estate license, so I will be busy. I hope that no one judges me for my choices now or my choices in the future, and we can all keep an open mind. I'm glad your schedule can work out better for you and the kids!
Lots of love.
ps... Dee's comments always crack me up.
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